The Psychology of Relationships: Lessons from the Bachelorette Andi Dorfman
Just off the heels of the finale of another season of ABC’s The Bachelorette with Andi Dorfman, it’s a good opportunity to look at where our culture is regarding morals, relationships, and, sex.
First Clare Crawley and Juan Pablo, then Andi Dorfman and Nick Viall. Before the season started, it was reported that Chris Harrison explained why Andi “was basically Sean Lowe.” We all know that was an erroneous projection. Conversely, morals and the sanctity of sex is fading. People’s standards of behavior and beliefs about what is and isn’t acceptable to do has to leave many concerned about future generations.
In a recent interview with Huffington Post, Andi called Josh Murray’s proposal “sacred.” That had to have sent mixed signals to fans since she had a very different reaction to Nick Viall questioning her motive for “making love” to him in the fantasy suite. It seems a bit backwards since sex is sacred in many religions.
Nick Viall appeared to be thrown off by Andi’s demeanor for the very reason that Andi was so upset with Juan Pablo Galavis after the fantasy suite experience. Andi said the fantasy suite experience with Juan Pablo was ”a disaster” and that she felt “cheap” the morning afterwards. She was so hurt and upset about her experience that she drilled him about it the next day and decided she couldn’t go on with the relationship.
In a world that’s quickly changing in perspectives, morals, and values, it was refreshing to hear and see Nick express that his intimacy with Andi “meant something” to him. He had every right to resolve that her demeanor on the After the Final Rose show “cold,” and lacked feelings. It was a trial, but, Sean Lowe showed how profound sexual morality is to an intimate relationship wherein permanency is desired. Aside from that, here are some other things we can ponder…lessons from Andi’s experience through a Christian’s lens:
1. Relationships are very complex. A relationship with God helps our relationships with others. Research shows that people who have faith are equipped to deal with adversity, sickness, and, life’s issues in healthier ways.
2. Value-based living. Values reflect one’s deepest beliefs about life. They help individuals determine what to pursue, accept, compromise or do. Perhaps fear of losing the person she really wanted caused Andi to make the decisions she did before the final rose ceremony. Don’t let fear interfere with your heart felt values.
3. Casual sex leads to regrets. A Northeastern University study showed women regretted “hookups” most. Sex is very spiritual. It is an exchange of energies between two people. Sean Lowe’s decision to wait until after marriage to become intimate with Catherine Giudici is a leading example of keeping God first. Keeping God first and loving him the most helps you love others in the healthiest way.